Zambian Kitchen Party – Where did it start?
A Zambian Kitchen Party is a traditional bridal shower which takes place before the wedding day. Different countries and cultures have different wedding traditions. These traditions have meaning, history, and sentimental value. Zambia is no exception to this rule and has its own series of wedding traditions.
These traditions have evolved and changed over time because of exposure to other customs. The Zambian kitchen party is one such event and it is highly influenced by exposure to western culture.
History Of Zambian Kitchen Party
The concept of this party slowly evolved and became prominent during the 1960s, when Zambia gained independence from the U.K. Until this point in history, the party wasn’t a part of the wedding traditions.
Brides and their families took inspiration from Western bridal showers and made a unique tradition from it. Modern kitchen parties are quite different than traditional parties of the 60s, but they are still an important part of wedding traditions for the Zambian bride.
Traditional Zambian Kitchen Party
The traditional kitchen party was designed specifically to help the bride start her journey as a married woman. It began with a private meeting between the bride and a few elderly women of her family or social circle. They would gently educate the bride on matters like sexual relationships, safety, responsibility, etc.
The bride would learn everything she needs to know about the intimate physical relationship between husband and wife from trusted matrons of her family. No unmarried women or young girls were present during this meeting.
After this conversation was complete, the bride moved to another room or hall with other guests at the kitchen party. She usually sat in one place and received gifts from the guests. These gifts weren’t frivolous items like flowers or chocolate, but presents that had some practical use. Kitchen utensils and appliances were the most common gifts and guests would often explain their purpose to the bride.
The purpose of this ritual was to prepare a woman for her married wife and give her the tools she would need to transition smoothly. It also helped brides become more confident and feel less anxious about their new role in life.
Modern Zambian Kitchen Party
As times changed, the Zambian kitchen party tradition evolved. Many women are now fully educated and have access to all the information they need regarding married life. While old traditions are precious and should be treasured, it’s not surprising that young brides want something different. Modern kitchen parties are less about learning about married life and more about celebrating the last days of being an unmarried woman.
This tradition is now very similar to the bridal shower parties of the west. There is some alcohol, laughter, and even music involved. Traditional kitchen parties didn’t include male guests, but modern ones do include the groom and his party. He usually arrives after the event has started and comes with some flowers for the bride.
This has been turned into a fun game for everyone involved where the groom is only allowed to see the bride if he ‘bribes’ the bridal party with some money. Once he can see his bride-to-be, he offers her flowers and meets her one last time before the wedding ceremony. This has two purposes; the guests get to see the groom and identify him, and they know he’s not promised to any other woman of the community.
The nature of the gifts in the modern Zambian kitchen party has changed a little as well. Guests no longer offer just kitchen utensils or appliances. They also provide other items like luxury pieces, make-up, jewellery, etc. Sometimes the bride and groom’s families compete against each other to give the bride the best gifts.
Traditional kitchen parties usually involved a small group of the bride’s loved ones. Modern parties involve the bride and groom’s friends, relatives, colleagues, and acquaintances. This is no longer a women-only party so it’s everyone mingles and has fun together.
Venues For Kitchen Parties
Traditional kitchen parties often happened in the bride’s home or garden. If the bride’s home wasn’t big enough to accommodate everyone, a relative would offer their home for the purpose.
Modern couples often book a special event venue or hall for the purpose. These locations are better able to accommodate all of the guests and ensure everyone is comfortable. Sometimes the kitchen parties and the wedding reception are held at the same location.
Traditional Or Modern?
Just because the party has evolved over time doesn’t mean that you can’t have a traditional Zambian Kitchen Party before your wedding. Many couples choose to go the traditional route to save money and honour the spirit of this celebration. The kind of celebration you want depends entirely on your preferences.
Most couples choose what kind of kitchen parties they want to have together and make arrangements accordingly. Regardless of what they choose, they always include this party at their wedding celebrations.